The Idea Dump
by Chaoslover43
Summary: Well everyone knows the feeling of a rabid plot bunny biting their bum and this collection of one shots and first chapters is the result of that. Basically a place for my ideas. Chapters aren't connected, skip anything that sounds boring.
1. Woo! Vacation in an Alternate Universe!

**Another World**

**AN: If anyones read Rorschach's Odd ideas one shot fic then you know what style I'm writing in. Basically you get little one shots that may or may not become a multi chapter fic. **

**3/26/11- This chapter got a small edit. The AN was cleaned up, a summary was added and a bit of grammar was fixed.**

**Summary- **Harry finds a way to minimize the damage during Voldemort's resurrection. Consequences are had.

**.oOo.**

Harry bit back a hiss of pain as Wormtail shoved him roughly against the tombstone and bound him. The robes around the baby looking thing came loose and Harry gasped as he saw what was writhing within.

The reptilian baby looked up and a cackling sound that Harry was sure babies could not make echoed forth. "Potter, Potter, Potter. Scared? You should be, once I have my body back you'll lose yours!" The baby thing cackled again and Harry realized who it was.

"Voldemort..." Harry whispered.

It was that moment that the evil-baby Voldemort tensed and yelled to the best of a demonic baby's ability, "Wormtail, we do not have the luxury of time! Begin the ritual at once!"

"O-o-of c-course master." Wormtail squeaked out as he levitated the bones out of the grave. "Bones of the father," he muttered as they splashed into the cauldron, causing the liquid to steam.

Harry tuned Wormtail out and concentrated on the oddly comfortable scales-on-grass noises Nagini was making from underneath him. _How will I get out of this one...? Think Potter!_

Harry was of course distracted though by the awful sound of flesh being cut and a blood curdling scream as Wormtail huddled on the ground clutching his bleeding stump to his chest.

Harry though was infinitely surprised when Wormtail managed to get up and walk towards him. Though it was what he said that caught Harry's attention, "Blood of an enemy, forcibly taken..." He muttered loudly. _Loop-hole! _Harry's mind chanted happily as Harry's face took on a twisted expression and he bit down hard on his lip.

"Blood of an enemy, willingly given," He mocked loudly right before he spit the blood into the boiling cauldron.

It was at that moment that Voldemort sounded more scared than Harry had ever heard him, even if he was currently a demonic baby. "You idiot boy!" he shouted fearfully, "This is highly unstable dark magic you've spat in! There's no telling what will happen!"

Harry chuckled darkly, "If this kills us than at least I know I killed you before I died!" As wormtail cowered against a tombstone.

It was at that moment that the cauldron's contents exploded outwards coating everything in a thick layer of potion, but Harry could only feel intense pain and a falling sensation.

He managed to open his eyes against the pain and saw what looked like a cross between a muggle drug trip and cheesy, low budget, science fiction movie effects. There were rays of color fast approaching and disappearing with rays of bright white light doing the same. As he admired what appeared to be a pleasant ecstasy induced trip he noticed that a tiny black circle had formed where the colors had been spawning from that was rapidly growing bigger.

With a sinking feeling Harry realized he actually was falling and braced for impact, which came a second later. Harry knew only a world of pain as he slammed into the ground and felt his ribs crack a little before falling into blissful unconsciousness.

**.oOo.**

With Voldemort still at large Sirius Black had been coerced into rounds outside of Hogwarts in case the Dark Lord, and Sirius sneered at his title, decided to launch an offensive against Hogsmeade.

It had been two weeks since he'd been convinced to make these bloody rounds and the scariest thing he'd seen was Aberforth Dumbledore in a silk teddy chasing after a goat screaming about a divorce settlement. He shuddered just thinking about it.

At that moment what appeared to be a magical portal opened up two meters off the ground. He had about the time to say, "What the hell?" before a young looking boy of about 13, maybe 14, slammed out and into the ground with a sickening crunch.

Sirius was able to get over and hear the boys last thoughts before falling unconscious, a whispered, "Sirius...?".

He recoiled a few meters heart pounding wildly as one thought raced through his mind over and over, _Lily's eyes... and James face._

**.oOo.**

**AN: *Sounds of cheering and clapping* Yes I know thank you, thank you, I know how good a job I did no need to tell me. Just kidding but for those waiting for an update from Chaos's Favorite Day is Tuesday I'm sorry but I was bitten by a rabid plot bunny who had already bitten my muse and I just had to squeeze this out. Thus my one-shot dump is born! Doubt it will ever be as long as Rorschach's though...**


	2. HouseElf Harry

**Harry The House-Elf**

Another idea from the most likely partially-crazy mind of everyone's favorite (not really) author Chaos! Who, as a note to canon-freaks, is disregarding JK's idea that Arabella Figg is a squib if for no reason than for the story bit to have a plot. So enjoy! Well, hopefully!

Summary: Harry is abused by the Dursley's just as in canon, but what if Harry's magic reacted with the abuse the way say... A house elf's might? That's the idea seed for this ficlet.

.oOo.

A very angry looking tortoise-shell cat was skulking around number 4 Privet Drive unconsciously mirroring the actions and thoughts of a cat that had been there almost seven years before. Like that cat this cat was sitting on the stone wall observing the so-called _People _that lived inside. Also like that cat this cat wasn't a cat at all but an animagus, a wizard or witch who had an animal form. The last animagus at the house had been Minerva McGonagall who had also been observing the muggles who lived there for the well-being of one Harry Potter. This new animagus was there for the same reason but had much more mutinous thoughts.

_Damn that Albus! Doesn't he realize that the blood-wards he puts so much faith in rely on a sense of home and family, love and caring and such positive emotions from those giving the care? That if they work him like a house-elf and hate his guts for no other reason than powers he doesn't know he has that the blood-wards will be paper thin? _The cat animagus snorted. _Of course he doesn't he's _**Albus bloody Dumbledore!**_ The man of second chances who believes that blood and family transcends hatred that even with all the signs of abuse and neglect I've given him just smiles and says "_ The Dursleys are Harry's own kin of course they love him," _Then he will smile grandfatherly. _she thought scathingly,_ and finish up with _"I bet the wards are the strongest on the planet with all the love the Dursleys must feel for him!" she snorted a second time _despite the fact that a determined first year with the intent to kill and torture could probably walk straight through them without even knowing there _were_ wards! _She huffed quite loudly, well to the best of a cats ability, and turned tail, literally, and jumped off the wall and trotted back towards her house.

No muggles realized when a cat walked into an alley and crazy old Mrs. Figg stormed out with a truly volcanic expression on her face.

.oOo.

Harry Potter was not the pampered prince most expected him to be, quite the opposite in fact. For as few people realized Harry Potter had the mind of a perfect little house elf. He got up at an obscene hour unconsciously and made a huge breakfast for the Dursleys. If he was done earlier than expected he would do nothing not even think, which made him quite the natural occlumens, until his relatives came downstairs and gave him an order. Then the only thought in his mind was to get that order done then return for further orders the first order of the day was usually something mundane like " Get the mail, boy!" or "Fetch my paper, freak!" from uncle Vernon.

After he returned and waited unnaturally silent for his uncle to finish with whatever he had asked for, he was usually rewarded with a light to medium, in Harry terms, smack across the face with a screamed "Don't act so freakish in my house, boy!" from Vernon to which he would reply "Yes uncle Vernon," rather mechanically. Then, after he had hit Harry, Vernon would probably be satisfied he'd done his part to stamp the magic out of him for that day and would leave for work never failing to tell Petunia "Make the boys chores especially hard for today pet! For his cheek," He would say quieter with a sneer. Of course since he said that every day and Petunia only had so many chores that he could do even with Dudley helping to keep the house as dirty as possible the chores list remained relatively the same with a chore that only needed to be done every once in a while on there occasionally. Though on this day it looked something like this,

**1. Wash the clothes**

**2. Polish/clean the windows**

**3. Wash the dishes**

**4. Paint the tool shed**

**5. Wash and wax the car**

**6. Mow the lawn**

**7. Weed the flower beds.**

**8. Clean and organized the house**

Since most of the chores were done daily like to wash dishes and clean and organize the house Harry would usually finish in about two hours. A normal malnourished eight-year-old would take two or even three times as long but Harry Potter was not normal. He was unconsciously emulating the house elves in another ways, he like them, was pushing a small amount of magic into his legs and arms to increase their efficiency. His body worked on the level of a healthy person three times his age.

Unfortunately for Harry and his unconscious ability, Petunia would usually give two or three repetitive and usually useless chores that took no extra energy but consumed a lot of time and were exceedingly boring. Harry with his house elf mentality didn't complain or even mind really but Petunia didn't know that and so kept assigning them.

On this day his repetitive chores were to organize and alphabetize Petunia's extensive cleaning supply cupboard, count the number of species of flowers and how many there were of each and the most absurd to count the number or bricks on the east side of the house.

His aunt just sneered at him as she read the list to him, he had never been taught to read, and handed him a clipboard, pencil and a tattered piece of loose leaf paper and commanded, "Don't lose them freak, I won't give you anything else," she leaned closer, "and there better not be a scratch on that clipboard when I get it back!" Then she would retreat into the living room to watch better homes and gardens type programming despite the fact that her obedient little Harry took care of everything in regards to her home and garden as he was currently doing.

Harry finished all the chores on his list and walked back inside to await further orders. Then Petunia sneered as she did everyday and told him to try to entertain himself without breaking anything. Again she would always lean close and threaten a beating from uncle Vernon if he put one toe out of line.

Harry had learned the hard way that unless he left the house completely Petunia would always find something he had messed up and so as he did everyday when he finished his chores he wandered to the little park and sat on the swing for a few hours or only a few minutes depending on the severity of the chores that day. On the day in question Harry's chores hadn't been too difficult and he had polished them off in just over 3 hours the bricks had been much easier for Harry than Petunia had expected because he had taught himself math and reading from things Dudley had brought home like textbooks and beginners readers from kindergarden.

Harry was now a rather accomplished reader and knew his times tables so finding the number of bricks had been easy the number of bricks up, 64 times the number of bricks across 50 to get 3200 bricks. Harry had messed with that number a little further to get the exact amount because the mulch upset his calculations and came out with 3273 bricks on the east side of the Dursley house. His mentality had insisted he learned the skills of reading and mathematics to better serve his masters or at least thats what the house elf in him thought the real Harry hidden away from all the abuse was just glad to know more then he did the day before.

Harry's internal clock buzzed and Harry knew it was time to get back to the house and make his aunt Petunia her lunch, with uncle Vernon at work and Dudley at school thats all he had to handle before coming back to his swing.

Harry made his way home did his chore, not a chore for him as even the real Harry liked to cook, and returned to his swing for five more hours before returning to receive orders from Vernon who Harry knew would be home soon from nothing but the suns position in the sky.

Vernon blustered as usual over happenings at work and then took them out on Harry by giving him a slap across the face and a light, again in Harry's opinion, punch to the ribs before demanding dinner and settling in the kitchen to watch TV. Harry cooked the families meal, breakfast for dinner, which consisted of fifteen pieces of bacon, three omelets, ten medium sized pancakes and fifteen sausage patties. Comparatively Harry made for himself one piece of bacon and a pancake which was just about what he needed to survive, he didn't eat lunch.

Then Harry turned in to his cupboard to get the sleep he needed to do it again with little variation the next day.

.oOo.

_If that doesn't show him what the Dursleys are capable of than I've lost my faith in him. _Arabella thought darkly as they, her and Dumbledore, returned from the pensieve that she had shown that exact treatment of Harry in. Dumbledore just looked at her expectantly as if curious to what was wrong with those memories. Seeing the look on his face she began to shout, "See here Albus! Just because I respect and admire you does not mean I will allow you to allow **Them**," The word them spoken with incredible venom, "to abuse and belittle him. For god's sake the boy acts like a house elf."

The headmaster just smiled genially at her and responded with, "My dear Arabella that is not abuse they are just being strict with him, and he is not a house elf just willingly helping with some chores, though some did seem to lack purpose..." The last part muttered to himself and not heard by the other occupant of the room.

"You're blinded Albus! How can you not see what they do to him as abuse!" She paused and continued at a normal volume, "If that is what you see as acceptable treatment than what I will do to him will seem like heaven on earth!" she spat. And with that she disappeared into his floo.

Ten minutes later both Harry Potter and Arabella Figg disappeared from Dumbledore's and the ministry's radar and Albus Dumbledore sunk back into his seat. _What have you done Arabella? What did you see in Harry's treatment that I missed? _He thought those thoughts and others in the hours he sat in his chair doing nothing more than observing his silver instruments.

**AN: Okay guys I forgot to mention this in the last chapter but the reason that these aren't becoming multi-chaptered fics in their own right is that unless they are posted again as such they are up for grabs by you guys just like Rorschach's. In fact I actually write these scenes hoping someone will take them for their own so I can see what others do with my version of plot-lines that have been examined a few times already.**


	3. Just a Routine Trip to the Past

Just a Routine Trip to the Past

A.N. Once more an odd idea in my head sprouted a fuzzy tail and cute long ears and bit me on the ass. So now I'm rabid like the plot bunny... Aside from my bad metaphors I decided to add a little something to Rorschach's idea of an odd ideas folder and will be putting summaries before every one shot slash future story so you guys can skip what doesn't sound interesting or is unappealing to you... Oh and my standard "Not the same as canon!" disclaimer applies, and the legal disclaimer that ones important... Enjoy!

Summary- When the Battle of Hogwarts goes wrong Harry decides to get help from an alternate source, and becomes a little batty... When tragedy strikes, Harry is driven all the way over the deep end. So when a ancient spell from Voldemort hits him and he is sucked into the past he decides that the world's in for some chaos.

__________________________________________________________________

As Harry crept silently down the halls of Hogwarts, stunning and silencing any unfortunate Death Eaters, for hopefully the last time he reflected on the state of the war.

It had gone about as well as could be expected after the Battle of Hogwarts, as it had been called, was lost. The light had been shut out of the castle and Harry had lost all of his friends except for Luna. She had stayed with him until just a few nights ago when she had lost her life in a battle with Death Eaters. Harry had cried of course but thought that her death was fitting. She had noticed the curse seconds before it had hit her and he had managed to catch her last words.

"Oh poo and I was so looking forward to making fun of your masks when we had finished, and I never got my Harry ravishing either!"

Harry personally thought that she had a few more choice words but had been cut off quite literally by a cutting curse. In a fit of rage Harry had reduced the remaining 23 death eaters to the consistency of pudding before rushing over.

Before her death and directly after the Battle of Hogwarts she had woken Harry up in the Forbidden Forest and said in the most solemn voice he had ever heard out of her, "We lost,"

Then Luna had poisoned his mind to her odd and quite perverted ways though he was still much more sane then she. He was twenty-one now and over the last four years they had traveled Britain helping any resistance and generally trying to curb Voldemort. When he had figured out that all his horcruxes had been destroyed he had cursed for two solid days before attempting to make more. Apparently seven really was the lucky number because he had almost died trying to make his eighth.

It had been Harry's plan to hope Voldemort would just show up to one of the raids and then he could unleash his 'power the dark lord knows not' or whatever. He had always assumed that Luna was just along for the ride but then she had died which led up to the reason why Harry was now creeping through Hogwarts in the dead of night stunning guard Death Eaters.

The Death Eaters and Voldemort had taken Hogwarts after the Battle and Harry wracked with grief, or insanity it really is a toss-up, was following through on a bet he and Luna had made a few weeks back.

__________________________________________________________________

#Flashback Time!#

"There's no way you can break into Hogwarts single handedly and then kill all the Death Eaters and Voldemort!" shouted Luna.

"I sure as hell can," Harry shot back

"I'd like to see you try," she responded petulantly.

"Maybe I will!" he yelled equally petulantly and stalked off.

#Aw... No more Flashback Time!#

__________________________________________________________________

Sure he had said it all kiddingly but he had said it and in his grief, or insanity, addled mind he had decided that was all that mattered. Which is why we now find Harry blowing a large hole in the Headmasters office door and stepping in. Voldemort had a look of hilarious shock on his face which turned to anger when a flash went off.

"Potter!" he yelled as he sent four killing curses silently at the man.

"Shhh I'm waiting for the pictures to develop," Harry muttered as he dodged the curses.

"What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing. In. My. Lair!" he shouted punctuating each word with a curse that was either incredibly painful, incredibly lethal, or a combination of the two.

"Oh you know, just checking up on my arch enemy. I mean really if you didn't want me up here you really shouldn't have set the password to 'Voldemort likes little boys'. Honestly, I guessed it on my first try." He responded shielding against a few, and dodging the rest of the curses.

"Damn you Potter! Damn you! I was saving this for a special occasion like my birthday but I suppose you can have it now," Voldemort began muttering to himself, long strings of what sounded like ancient Babylonian before raising his wand.

"I have no idea what this spell will do but it just looked bad-ass! So here you go,"

A glowing ball of blackish gold energy had formed a few inches away from his wand as he spoke his usual idiotic drivel. When he spoke the last few strings of Babylonian, with Harry stuck in place for some odd reason, the energy burst forward like a hurricane of sludge and blew Harry's body to bits of bloody flesh, apparently the sludge was corrosive. As Harry lost awareness two sounds were registered Voldemort's evil laugh, which Harry suspected was practiced in front of either a mirror or an underpaid henchman, and a high voice.

"Hey it's my bitch! You may not know me but I'm fate and I have decided to condemn you to relive this hell I made for you! Enjoy it bitch!" Then it all went black (and a hint of turquoise).

__________________________________________________________________

_Wonderful! _Harry's voice screamed in his head as he recognized his surroundings. _All of Luna's bad jokes make sense now! I really am fates bitch!_

Harry had woken up in the cupboard under the stairs and he was _pissed_!

_Well it may be what fate wants but if that whore is going to just drop me off back in the '90s then I'm going to make everyones lives hell!_ He cackled insanely at this point. _Chew on that fate!_

__________________________________________________________________

A.N. Okay! I haven't received a review yet for this story/file thing but I'm sure this one is funny/awful enough for someone to comment! I might do more on this one without to much coercing... I seem to have a fixation with time related stories if anyones noticed. Oh and remember there is a pretty little challenge on my profile page and I wish I didn't have to beg but would someone please answer it? At least check it out and show it to all their author friends? I'd be much obliged...


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